We need your Email address 
JULY 2008
My dear Friends,
Have you ever seen The wizard of Oz, that iconic film of a little girl’s dream journey to a magical world? The movie opens with Judy Garland’s heartbreakingly beautiful singing of “Over the rainbow”. Can’t we identify with Dorothy’s longing to join the bluebirds flying over the rainbow, escaping the drab misery of our lives and finding a place where life is kind and gentle and full of the promise of wonder and loveliness. Though we know that even over that mythical rainbow our children are not physically with us any more, we yearn for a time shorn of the anguish of loss and the bleakness of grief. On her journey Dorothy and her dog, Toto, had three companions: the scarecrow, the tin man and the cowardly lion. The scarecrow wanted a brain, the tin man a heart and the lion courage. Isn’t there something of each of them in us? Like the scare-crow we may feel stupid, unable to concentrate, remember, think or plan. We’re just straw people, floppy and incapacitated. At times, like the tin man, we could think we no longer care – care about others, their concerns and feelings, about the society around us, and most of all about ourselves. The lion wasn’t at all as brave as his proverbial namesake; as we do he sometimes found it easier to simply hide away and leave unfaced his rigorous tasks.
In the end they all did venture over the rainbow. Confronting challenging situations and coping magnificently with them, the scarecrow grew clever, the tin man compassionate, and the lion valiant. And, as for Dorothy, she found she was happiest after all in her familiar surroundings.
The process of bearing the death of a loved one is often referred to as the grief journey. We need to follow that yellow brick road with all its pitfalls and perils. In doing so we eventually discover the resources of wisdom, love and courage within ourselves that enable us to transcend our sorrow and find that our lives have regained value.
We at TCF are here to guide and support you on the road and hope that you will travel it safely and
successfully.
Much love,
Rosemary Dirmeik.
TCF JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA.
A workshop on grief and Loving: By Bernard Levinson: Will take place Saturday the 19th and Sunday 20th July At TCF.
I sadly know how easily it is for grief to consume a relationship. Everything becomes blanketed, leaving the couples with
mute fingers and turned-in eyes… It is so easy to become out of touch with each other. In such a setting the anger so
frequently generated by the sense of loss cannot be comfortably absorbed or reasonably handled and spirals out of
control. I would like to propose a week-end workshop designed to uniquely address just this issue. We would spend two
days in gentle graded experiences, reawakening the relationship and getting profoundly back into touch with our partners.
I have run these workshops for many years with couples who call for help in my private practice.
PROPOSED GROUND RULES FOR THE WORK SHOP:
1. It would start at say 10 am each day and finish at 4pm.
2. Only couples can enroll for this week-end experience. You
have to have a partner.
3. Bring a special lunch. Make one of your all-time favorite sandwiches and cut it diagonally twice. You now have 4 small triangular mini sandwiches. Lunch will become a great moment for sharing your favorite food with others. I feel the word food and love are almost interchangeable. It should make for a fun moving experience
4. What ever you do, it will only involve you as a couple. Working as a discreet unit on both days. No exposing of oneself or any embarrassments.
5. Wear track suits or loose clothing that will allow you to sit on a floor comfortably.
** WALL OF REMEMBRANCE
Would you like to remember your loved one by adding their photographs to our wall of remembrance on this website ? If so please forward your photograph together with name, details and a short message.
NEWS...NEWS...NEWS...
DON’T FORGET TO COME TO:
THE 25TH ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
OF THE JOHANNESBURG CHAPTER
OF THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS.
WHEN: Saturday, 12th July 2.00 p.m.
WHERE: TCF Centre, 122 Athol St., Highlands
North.
* THIS IS YOUR NEWSLETTER & WEBSITE
We love receiving your contributions. You can’t believe just how much your feelings and experiences assist other parents who are struggling through their grief. Please just let us have any contributions by the 15th of each month. Sometimes submissions may have to be edited owing to space etc.
Fax 011-887 9494 or 
TCF BROCHURES TO DOWNLOAD
LINKS NOW WORKING !!
7 WAYS TO HELP WHEN SOMEONE DIES
DEALING WITH A DEATH BY ROAD ACCIDENT
FOR FIRST RESPONDERS, THOSE WHO BREAK THE NEWS
STILLBIRTH, MISCARRIAGE AND INFANT DEATH
SUGGESTIONS FOR MEDICAL PERSONNEL
SURVIVING YOUR CHILD'S' SUICIDE
7 PRINCIPLES OF THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
---------------------------------------------
How you can help Compassionate Friends. Please don’t ever assume that what you have to give is too little. We are grateful for any donations. If you do your grocery shopping and buy an extra bag of tea, sugar, coffee, toilet paper etc that you then donate to TCF it means we don’t have to spend money on those things. We can then use the money we have for newsletters and counselling. We also have a bin by the gate where you can leave your newspapers. If you make a cash donation we may now issue you with a tax certificate.
THANK YOU TO NASHUA NORTH FOR PRINTING OUR MONTHLY NEWSLETTER.
Our Mission Statement
THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS is a mutual self-help organisation offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents and siblings.
The primary purpose is to assist them in the positive resolution of the grief experienced upon the death of a child and to support their efforts to achieve physical and emotional health.
The secondary purpose is to provide information and education about bereaved parents and siblings. The objective is to help those in their community, including family, friends, employers, co-workers and professionals to be supportive.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The History of The Compassionate Friends 
TCF was founded by Reverend Simon Stephens in the UK in 1969 after he witnessed the support two bereaved families were able to draw from each other after losing a child. TCF was founded in South Africa in 1983 by Linda Abelheim and there are now more the 30 groups throughout the country.
All who belong to TCF have learned that the death of our child has caused a pain that can best be understood fully by another bereaved parent. Knowing that others need love and support, we reach out as our own grief subsides to those who still feel alone and abandoned.
TCF believes that bereaved parents can help each other towards a positive resolution of their grief, as we know that expressing thoughts and feelings is part of the healing process. We never suggest that there is a correct way to grieve or that there is a preferred solution to the emotional and spiritual dilemma raised by the deaths of our children - we understand that each parent must find his or her own way through grief.
TCF reaches out to all bereaved parents across artificial barriers of religion, race, ecomomic class, or ethnic group.
We also offer advice to other relatives, friends and professionals as to how to deal with those close to them who may be grieivng. To this end, TCF offers support literature and gives regular talks and presentations within the community, such as at schools, hospitals, corporates, the media and other charitable organisations.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Registration No. 001-308 NPO - PBO No. 930000335 Fundraising No. 01100449007.
A Non-denominational self-help organisation.
Founders: Reverend Simon Stephens (England) and Linda belheim (South Africa)
